Confused

I met with Emily, our friend/teacher to discuss Kate's IQ test results. She helped me see that her span was between 110, and 125. So even at her lowest point, she is still above average (100). Based on this, she would not qualify for resource, so that is why the psychologist is doing his intervention, trying to prove that she does indeed have reading difficulties.

For example, Emily's IQ span is from 130 to 79, a big difference. It means her IQ is 130, but because of her disability, she can only perform at a 79 level in some areas. This difference proves the disability. Since Kate's span is not severe, it doesn't prove she has a disability. Luckily, the psychologist believes she does indeed have dyslexia, and so is going another route to help her.

Emily and I talked about methods a lot. She suggested I try one thing at a time, for 4-6 weeks, and measure the outcome. I've been doing 4-5 different methods with her, hoping that something would help, not measuring anything.  This will make it hard to determine what is actually working, and what is not.

I'm so confused.

I have so many theories and methods rolling around in my brain from all my research, that I can hardly think straight. I can't get excited about doing only one thing for 4 weeks. She'll be bored, It'll be a fight...

I went to the temple, hoping to get a clear direction to move in, knowing that only the Lord knows Kate well enough to tell me what to do.

I didn't get the answer that I wanted.

I should have known.

The answer I got is that it doesn't matter what I do, but how I do it. My relationship with Kate is more important than her learning to read fluently.

BUT WHAT IF SHE NEVER LEARNS TO READ FLUENTLY?! HUH?? WHAT ABOUT THAT??

Obviously, the Lord is still trying to teach me to 'let go'.

Perhaps this is because my patience was waning this week. She spent time in her room crying 2 days out of 4. I get so frustrated with her non-compliance when I'm trying my hardest to help her, and save her the pain of this disability. Even as I write that though, I know I can't save her from it. It's her trial to pass through, and try as I might, I can't keep it from hurting her 100% of the time. I can lessen it's impact on her, and her self-esteem, but she is still going to have to learn to live with it.

She's dyslexic. I can't change that. No method can. She'll just have to figure out how to cope, and my job is just to give her a safe place to rest from that stress. I need to figure out how to do that.

Do you think there is a 'Mom's of dyslexics' support group I could join?

Results

Kate had another assessment with the schools psychologist today. The part where he determines her educational 'level'. No surprise, she is behind in reading, spelling, and reading comprehension. Also not a surprise to me, she has above average writing skills (not counting the spelling) and showed the same amount of hard work, and determination as last time. Her auditory comprehension is 100%.

Her IQ came in at 120. He told me this is in the 91%. So the problem is not her intelligence.

His full report will be done in a few days, and then I'll post more specifics, but basically, it proves that she does have a learning disability, because she's so smart, and yet so behind.

He's going to start working with her twice a week on some reading techniques he uses. If there is no improvement in 8-10 weeks, then we can conclude that she cannot learn the 'normal' way, and alternatives will have to be sought out. Again, on our own, since the school system has no experts in dyslexia. This will also count as another 'intervention'.

He told me he sees a lot of strengths in her that are seen in famous dyslexics, he was particularly impressed with her writing/creativity. Now I just have to figure out how to take this information and use it to find a good way to teach her to read.

She also needs the speech therapy, as it is affecting her spelling. She spells exactly as she speaks. Wylly for Really, and shis for this. He's going to make sure she gets that therapy going soon.

At home, we've started the spell-sweep method from the Gift of Dyslexia book. You say every letter in the word and then you say the word. If she does not know the word, I tell her it after she has spelled it out, and then she repeats it. ei: M-E-T-H-O-D, method. She is not to sound it out. She hates it, but I'm making her do it. We have to get her eyes tracking correctly, taking in the data in the correct order.

I also contacted an Optometrist in SLC that does Vision Therapy. Her eyes skip or jump as she tracks side to side. It's quite apparent when she is reading, and forces her to lose her place constantly. I think the VT would benefit her, but it's $280 for the initial exam/findings report, and then $120/session, with 12-16 sessions being average. That will be hard for us, so we're putting it off for a bit to see if all this other stuff will show some improvement.

She asked to go to school all day yesterday, but when I said no, she dropped it immediately. That's a relief, as that fight was getting old fast.

So... it's onward, ever onward. Press forward. The journey has just begun, and may go on indefinitely. It's nice to know she's so smart though, if only to my maternal pride, and even though I know she didn't get it from me.

*side note: When Chris was in 4th grade, they had him tested, because he was doing so poorly. He scored somewhere around 140 (from family reports, I don't have the actual results). The psychologist told his parents "Not to worry about him. He's a genius. He'll just need a good secretary." They took that information and nothing else was ever done, except he got yelled at every time he brought home a report card. I'm sure they thought that because he was so bright, he just wasn't trying hard enough. I wonder how Chris' education would have gone, had someone diagnosed him with dyslexia and got him the help he needed? How many children are repeating that same course even as I write this? *